


Remedial Classes

by that_one_the_grandniece_there



Category: Naruto
Genre: rated for Genma saying fuck but that's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24727141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_one_the_grandniece_there/pseuds/that_one_the_grandniece_there
Summary: Iruka gets sent back to school.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Remedial Classes

**Author's Note:**

> Hi..... I know I should be working on my long fic, Ice—or trying to recover my files from the old laptop for MB; but I had a really shitty day (a dog came into my yard and attacked my dog and I – in our own yard. Grrrrr), so I’m ‘to hell-ing’ with responsible writing and doing a shorter piece; because I needed to write something mindless. It's not as funny as my usually stuff, and there's no smut, but it was a good calming exercise.

_____________

Genma pouted. “I don’t want to go, Iruka.”

Iruka sighed at his roommate. “We don’t have a choice, Gen.”

Genma pouted harder. They walked into Iruka’s classroom and found two empty seats (in the second of three rows, _not_ near the front).

Iruka peered around and they settled in. He knocked his friend’s feet off the desk as soon as the tokujo propped them up there.

“No feet on my desks, man. My kids eat lunch at these desks. That’s gross, Gen.”

Genma sighed and slouched forward on the table instead, settling in to nap on his folded arms on the desk.

Iruka continued looking around.

So far, other than he and his friend, there was Anko, Kotetsu, Izumo, Naruto (no surprise there), Shikamaru and Kiba and his sister, Hana, as well as a jounin, two tokujo and a chuunin—none of whom Iruka knew by name, despite working at the missions desk.

There was also a group of four pre-teens—all of whom passed the recent genin graduation and therefore were being phased out of the orphanage this month—who were sticking close together at the front of the room. Iruka gave them a little wave and smile and they all relaxed minutely at their sensei’s familiar face.

After another ten minutes or so, the Hokage’s assistant, flanked by Chouza and Chouji Akimichi walked in.

She clapped her hands together and the gathered shinobi perked (or at least turned their sleepy faces in her direction, in Genma and Shikamaru’s cases) up.

“Hello everyone!” She beamed at them. “As most of you know, I’m Shizune. This is Chouza,” he nodded, “and Chouji Akimichi.” The boy paused in munching on his chips and waved. Iruka smiled at his former student.

“You’re all here because—”

Shizune was interrupted by the door opening, and the Copy-Nin sliding through with a sheepish look on his face, smiling under the mask and scratching the back of his head as his single visible eye curved up in an eye-smile.

“Sorry I’m late!” He dropped his hand and peered around the room. “There was this—”

“Take a _seat_ , Hatake-san.” Kakashi nodded and hurried to comply excuse dying on his tongue, and, grinning when he spotted Iruka and Genma, he slid in the same row of seats.

“Hey, nice entrance, man.” Genma muttered, while Iruka gave him a tight smile (honestly, wasn’t it bad enough he harassed Iruka at the missions desk? Why did he choose to sit here, in this row, at the desk right beside him, in the first place?).

“Now, as I was saying,” Shizune glanced in Kakashi’s direction, “you’re all here for a reason.”

Iruka blushed, remembering why, exactly, he and his roommate had been ordered to attend.

She clapped her hands together. “I’m going to ask the genin to form one group—you guys get to work with Chouji, ok?”

“You’re here because you need to learn to do this on your own, but you don’t have to work with the disaster cases or the repeat offenders.”

There was a chorus of indignant, “Hey!”s from Anko, Kotetsu and Naruto.

“Aww, nee-chan, _we_ want Chouji!” Naruto called out. Shikamaru poked the blond.

“Shh, Naruto, I’m trying to nap.”

Naruto pouted. “C’mon, Shika. _We_ want Chouji.”

The brunet just grunted and turned face down in the crook of his arms.

“You do not get to make requests, Mr. Uzumaki.” She frowned. “Your group will be working with Mr. Akimichi and I, so I can keep an eye on you, as will the last group.”

She smiled at the genin and sent them off to their own classroom with Chouji. Naruto pouted.

“All right,” Shizune beckoned them all down to the front row. “Grab one of these chairs here and make a circle. First, we’re going to share _why_ you’re all here, so you all know the importance of these classes.”

Grumbling, everyone complied. Once their chairs were seated in a circle, she spoke again. “Ok, so, as I said before, I’m Shizune, and I’m here as the Hokage’s assistant to teach part of these classes. When it’s your turn, introduce yourself and tell us why you’re here.” She smiled, then turned to Chouza.

_____________

Chouza smiled and readjusted himself in his seat. “I’m Chouza Akimichi and I’m a jounin, but my clan also runs the Akimichi Restaurant, so that’s why I was asked to teach here.” He smiles encouragingly at Anko, who is seated next to him.

She rolled her eyes. “Anko. I’m a tokubetsu jounin and I’m here because my team and I,” she jerks her head towards the three tokujo Iruka didn’t recognize, “got a bad case of food poisoning after our last mission.” She glared across Chouza at Shizune. “The medic couldn’t _prove_ it was the stew we made, but we were forced here _anyways_.”

The two other tokujos in question nodded and each gave their names. Then it was Naruto’s turn.

The blond grinned widely. “I’m Naruto, and, well, if you don’t know who I am or who my best friend here is, well, you must have been living under a rock for the war.”

He smacks the brunet on the back, who grumbles at him. “Anyways! Shika-kun and I are both getting married and Hinata-chan and Temari-chan said we _had_ to come or we’d be sleeping on the couch.” He finishes with another large smile.

The brunet beside him barely lifts his head with a mumbled, “What he said.”

Izumo smiles at the blond’s infectious expression and speaks. “I’m Izumo, and this is my best friend Kotetsu. You probably all know we’re the chuunin that are most often guarding the gate.”

Kotetsu piped up. “So, we’ve been in a bit of a one-man-up-manship of jokes with Iwashi from the missions desk. Anyways, we made him cookies with salt instead of sugar..... but he gave them to Tsunade and told her we made them for her, so.....”

“Here we are.” Izumo finished with a haphazard shrug. Iruka was becoming more and more anxious. So far, none of the reasons for being here were that bad. He really wasn’t looking forward to his turn.

The unknown jounin was next. He introduced himself as Hideo and explained he’d soon be leaving on a B-class undercover mission to protect a courtesan, pretending to be his personal chef on a diplomatic trip to Lightning Country for the next month.

The unknown chuunin smiled as he introduced himself as Daisuke and said that he’d the other half of that team and be posing as Hideo’s sous-chef.

Then came Kiba and his sister Hana.

“My assistant strongly encouraged me to attend because I’m so busy at the veterinary clinic that I usually only eat take-out and she says it’s not a healthy habit.” She nudged her brother.

“When mom heard Hana’s assistant signed her up she decided I needed to go with her, because she doesn’t want to cook for me anymore because I’m ‘grown up’.”

Then it was Iruka and Genma’s turn. Genma spoke, “Well, **_I_** can cook. It’s technically Iruka’s fault we have to be here, because he got us ordered to attend, because we’re roommates so no one saw it was him and not me—but I guess it’ll be kind of funny to watch him and the rest of you fools.” (When he said fools, he looked pointedly at Naruto, then waggled his eyebrows at Kotetsu and Izumo.)

They all turned to Iruka and he shrank down as he whispered, “I was cooking—”

“He was _trying_ to cook—”

“And I knicked my finger—”

“With the _standard issue, fore-arm long_ _kunai_ he was using to _chop green onions_ —”

“Hey, I use the same thing in the field when I cut foraged greens—”

“Which is _different_ , Iruka, because you’re stuck in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere on missions and have no other choice—”

“And then I went to get a plaster—”

“And left the kitchen with _all the burners still going_ —”

“But the dishtowel landed on the stove—”

“So, he set our kitchen _on fire_ —”

“And then I needed to put the fire out—”

“So, he used a **_water dragon_** —”

“And the neighbours were not impressed—”

“Well, the some of the jounin and chuunin were, because it’s a frigging awesome jutsu, but it was also a _frigging water dragon in an apartment building_ and he _flooded the entire floor_ —”

“Thank goodness the insurance covers it—”

“But we were _both_ ordered to attend remedial cooking classes by Tsunade because the disaster originated in _our_ apartment.”

Iruka sighed. Well, when his friend put it like _that_. . . . . He slouched down in his seat as everyone looked at them incredulously.

“Eh, you can’t cook, Iruka-nii? Is that why you always took me out for ramen?”

Iruka’s cheeks blazed bright red as he pout-frowned at Naruto.

After several long beats of silence, Shizune snapped out of it and turned to the last member of their little circle.

“Ah,” Kakashi spoke, “right. I asked if I could attend.” He eye-smiled and nodded.

“That’s _it_?” Anko squawked.

“Um, yes?”


End file.
